> Apparently going around NY at the moment. 1st is a girl's apology email
> for cheating on some bloke. 2nd is his reply which was Bcc'd to his
> entire address book.
>
> read her email first (girl who cheated to her boyfriend)...it's heavy
> going ...but real... then, his response!
>
>
>
> Brad,
>
> It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel
> like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
> truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
> in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
> would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or
> anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us
> had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you
> being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly
> words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking
> that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I just
> went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny
> yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I
> can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you
> meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know
> that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is
> something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and
> stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I
> can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to
> say that, and you could say that my behaviour didn't reflect that, and
> you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate
> feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I
> am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what
> happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just
> about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there
> with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in
> the world to rewind and fix it.
>
> I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you
> won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for
> getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at
> your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be
> great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel
> like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was
> not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really
> don't think I can handle that.
>
> I am so sorry.
>
> Elizabeth
>
>
>
> RESPONSE:
>
>
> Dear Elizabeth,
>
> Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for
> "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".
>
> You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to
> carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of
> whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes
> while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you
> ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is
> grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.
>
> To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and
> degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour
> span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F**k
> him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care
> less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world
> revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly
> Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to
> consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news
> for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they
> just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who
> commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I
> could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes
> out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else
> in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who
> decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut
> is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room. The good
> thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young
> lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday,
> we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened.
>
> By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you
> really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
> Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
> watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
>
> PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.
>
> Talk to you never,
> Brad
(couldnt resist that lol)