Meh deserves it's own thread.

Post by **I8A4RE** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:30 am

DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA

August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia ..
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I've finally found my new home.
I love it here.

September 13
Really heating up now.
It got to 31 today.
No problem though.
Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this.
I'm turning into a sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds !!

September 30
Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today.
Lots of palms and rocks.
No more mowing lawns for me!
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
It's Paradise !

October 10
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit.
Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.

October 15
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday.
Got third degree burns over 60% of my body.
Missed three days off work.
What a dumb thing to do..
Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

October 20
- Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning.
By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery.
The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat sh*t.
I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

October 25
- This wind is a bastard.
It feels like a giant f**king blow dryer.
And it's hot as hell!
The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from f**king Perth .....The wife & the kids are complaining.

October 30
- The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the f**king air conditioner.
House is an oven so we've all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go inside.
Why the hell did I ever come here?

November 4
Finally got the f**king air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35.
Stupid repairman.
f**king thief.

November 8
- If one more smart bastard says 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to f**king throttle him.
f**king heat!
By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my f**king clothes are soaking f**king wet and I smell like baked cat.
f**king place is the end of the Earth.

November 9
- Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car.
I thought my f**king arse was on fire.
I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my f**king arse.
Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.
f**k. f**k. f**k.

November 10
-- The Weather report might as well be a f**king recording..
Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny, Hot and f**king sunny.
It never f**king changes!
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 f**king months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
f**k!

November 15
- Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f**king place?
Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the f**king pool.
The only things that thrive in this f**king hell-hole are the f**king flies.
You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!

November 20
- Welcome to HELL!
It got to 45 fuckin' degrees today.
Now the air conditioner gone in my car.
The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?'
I wanted to shove the f**king car up his f**king arse.
Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick.
f**king Karratha!
What kind of sick, demented f**king idiot would want to live here!

December 1
- WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!!
You are f**king kidding me!

Shane001 · Post by **Shane001** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:56 am

roflmao

Kustom · Post by **Kustom** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 11:21 am

spency · Post by **spency** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 11:22 am

f**king lmao

Gholdwayne · Post by **Gholdwayne** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 11:30 am

Hektik story! Filled my work morning in my desk with discreet lol's

Probably the first best thing fake Simon posted!

Post by **I8A4RE** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 11:41 am

Gholdwayne wrote:Filled my work morning in my desk with discreet lol's

DO you know what a comma is? THEY SAVE PEOPLE!

Gholdwayne · Post by **Gholdwayne** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 11:58 am

I had a feeling there was something missing...

*puts comma after 'morning'*

Astron_Boy · Post by **Astron_Boy** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 1:42 pm

woah woah woah

I swear I've read this exact same thing, but the title was NZ'r in QLD.

Post by **I8A4RE** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 1:53 pm

Astron_Boy wrote:woah woah woah

I swear I've read this exact same thing, but the title was NZ'r in QLD.

I could believe that lol

Gholdwayne · Post by **Gholdwayne** » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:41 pm

BLAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!

sublime19 · Post by **sublime19** » Sun Oct 02, 2011 8:38 pm

I8A4RE wrote:
Gholdwayne wrote:Filled my work morning in my desk with discreet lol's
DO you know what a comma is? THEY SAVE PEOPLE!

I'll never get used to Simon correcting people with spelling and grammar!

Taz · Post by **Taz** » Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:04 am

Congratulations, you just woke my bro up at 4am and hes pissed

good laugh though

BUZZ_QWERTY · Post by **BUZZ_QWERTY** » Mon Oct 03, 2011 1:40 pm

bahahaha

FTO AUSTRALIA