This is Full of WIN

[I8A4RE]

Dear Mr. Minister,
I am in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my drivers licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last thirty years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.
Also... would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mothers name is Audrey, my fathers name is Jack and I'd be absolutely f****** astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!
Sh** ....
I apologise, Mr Minister but I am really pissed off this morning. Between you and me I've had enough of all the bullshit. You sent the applications then you asked me for the F***** address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there!
And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for god's sake. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaugther. (Yes My son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would somebody please tell me, why you would give a whether I plan to visit a farm in the next 15 days? If I got the urge to do something wierd to a sheep or horse i'm sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another F****** copy of my birth certificate and part with another $80.00 for the privilage of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuing of a new passport on the same day? Nooooo..... that'd be too f***** easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our f****** heads cut off, and then having to find some high society w****** to confirm that it's really me in the god damn photo! You know the photo... the ones where your not allowed to smile! ... you f******** morons!!

Signed An Irate Australian Citizen

PS. Remember what I said about the picture, and getting someone in high society to confirm that it is me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850!!
In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!)
I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over thirty years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.
I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL... and Lt general Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.
However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to vertify who I am; You know....someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN PAKISTANN!!!.... a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of Government'.

[Kustom]

Lol......

[Astron_Boy]

Win indeed!

[koolio1234]

[spency]

epic win, take that australian government.

[FTEvolution]

Yes My son interbred with a Kiwi girl

Not even I will do that... rofl

and yeah, that's win

[Gholdwayne]

uhh.. how old are you simon ?

[I8A4RE]

I didnt write this bro. it was off another forum.

[Gholdwayne]

oh woops

[Kustom]

I didnt write this bro. it was off another forum.

Busy at work as usual eh?

[I8A4RE]

lol, yeah seriously it's the only thing keeping me sane at the moment